Smells like Teen Spirit, No Wait. It smells like Crap.. Yeah Crap.

Did you know that the spa at Grand Wailea is one of the finest spas in the world? It really, really is beautiful. Descartes and I had a couple's massage on Thursday morning when we were in Wailea and it was absolutely wonderful. Beautiful temperature, the Termé HydroTherapy before hand makes you feel clean and pure and the pre-massage "peaceful pampering continues as a personal spa attendant gives you a complimentary body scrub of Hawaiian exfoliants" Wow, if someone could just come loofah my whole body once a week and gently rinse me off with warm water... I just might make it through this crazy life.

Because this is what happened just before we went to the spa:

My brother’s room was attached to our room, so we opened the door between the two rooms so the little girls could play together, and little Bubsy is in love with Jake, so she is very precious and constantly wants to go look at him, hug him and say "Hi". Since little Bubsy has never really been watched by anyone but family we made sure she had her own nanny… so my kids had one and his kid had one.. so two adults three kids two 6oo+ square foot rooms. Gerard and Pinky had an earlier spa treatment than we did, so they left first and came back first.

Basically we were all in my brother’s room watching the two little girls be extra cute, and we were all ignoring Jake. It is hard because he can entertain himself so easily that it is sometimes possible to forget that we should engage him since he can’t engage us as readily… well he was in the other room (our room) then there was some yelling, and it sounded like he was very frustrated. Then Pinky says “Ewww someone has the poops, bad”. So Descartes went to check Jake and I checked Lucy. Then I hear “jennyALICE! I’m gonna need some help, and Lucy should stay in there”.

Well Jake had pooped, and his diaper had fallen off which explains why he had come to the door between the rooms a bunch of times (lousy mommy... if I only had hindsight all the time.. I would catch all of the cues).

Descartes took Jake to the shower, I took towels to the floor and began scrubbing out what his right foot had stepped in and squished onto the floor. Descartes didn’t know it was on his foot when he made Jake WALK across the entire hotel room. It was a mess. Then Gerard and Pinky had to leave so Lucy stayed in with Bubsy for a bit longer until we had it together… our nanny (who we did not rehire after this incident.. we found another awesome one instead) had arrived some time during this fiasco and was with both little girls and Lisa, the other Nanny.

I scrubbed and blotted and dried and wiped and took a big pile of trash out of the room, and a wash load of towels to the linen service room which was right next door to our room (and told them it was bio-hazard and they asked me to put it in a separate place… nice protocol). So then we left and the room was just a little bit stinky but really not that bad considering. Descartes put out coffee grounds in glasses from our bar service figuring if it can help drug dealers hide the smell of dope, surely it could help one small family with a stinky room... as it turns out you should just spray sunscreen spray.. Hell, that smell covers everything and permeates your clothing through a few washes even once you are home... ahh but I digress.

So Descartes and I cleaned everything up, cleaned up the kid, and popped open the door between the rooms again. We left to the spa in desperate need of some pampering.
It was amazing. Really. Very, very spendy, but worth it. Then sitting on the lanai at the spa I just thought... this is so, so nice. I love my husband, my children are being well-cared for and we are out and about during the day by ourselves.. a true rarity for many adults with kids.. somehow it is okay to go out at night, but God forbid we spend time without them, as a couple, during daylight.

Then we got back to our room. The first words out of my brother's mouth... "Thanks for leaving the door open Jennyalice, now our room smells like shit too. Dude, you guys need to buy some candles."

• I apologized.
• I pulled both of my kids out of my brother's room (where they had been playing, Jake against the sliding glass door, tapping and Lucy playing with Bubsy and both nannies.)
• I closed the door between the rooms.
• I paid the nanny and said good bye to that little 20-something year old.
• I called housekeeping and begged for someone to come clean the floor.
• I started to cry.

My brother's room didn't smell like shit because of the accident earlier.

It was because Jake was sitting in a shitty diaper. A ripe, been-there-since-my parents-left, stuck on and rotting his skin with poo-acid type of dirty diaper.

Probably explains why the little Nanny-girl said "He was sort of agitated the whole time, but he was okay."

It is amazing how quickly 2.5 hours of relaxation and massage can be nearly wiped away.

No pun intended.

If it is that hard

for me to open the package of Provolone Cheese... perhaps I shouldn't be snacking on it.

That's all I know.

What do I Look Like to You? Don't Answer That.

I got to spend some time with my dear friend Kaycee tonight. In town on business, we haven't seen each other in years, after spending every single day togther most of our childhood.

She was in my wedding, and I in hers. We wear the same size shoe, and she let me borrow her Guess! overalls in 8th grade. We met when we were nine years old when we were both best friends with Sue.

Kaycee has recently started reading this blog. I asked her if it was odd to have this relationship with me when I wasn't actually there. She said it is hard not to be close enough to hug me.. which is nice, since I need a hug on most days.

She said the hardest part about reading is that the person who shows up online is not the woman she knows. "In real life", she said, "You are the strongest person I know, fearless and constantly leading the rest of us, and online there is another part of you that is vulnerable and fearful and doubting yourself and the way you are taking care of Jake and Lucy. In all the years I've know you I have barely ever seen those parts."

hmmmm I was trying to figure this one out. I am thinking maybe it's because I try very hard not to burden my every day relationships with ALL of the crazy stuff in my head.. now if you choose to read, that's your own business, but I cannot imagine having any single friend who could possibly bear all of me. Just as I don't think your spouse should be "everything". You need a couple of friends who "get you" and some who like your kids, and some, at least one who likes your spouse. You need someone who makes you laugh, and someone who will hold your hair if you puke (from the flu or otherwise)... people to eat with, people who camp, someone who thinks you're sexy, smart, funny, whatever those words are for you...Descartes is a little of all of those things, but he can't hear it all every day, neither can my mom and she made me.

Grinding Away

Jake actually went to school part of the day today...

oh and just a note to anyone who ever goes on vacation... do NOT open the mail the minute you get home, because at 11 pm there is absolutely nothing you can do about the erroneous letter that states your disabled and institutionally-deemed child has been dropped from Medi-Cal, and the charge that someone fraudulently made on your MasterCard in Australia buying flowers, which you had already had reversed, has been put back onto your card because they do not have all of the proper paperwork. You can however pay your bills online if you must....or , like I did, you can marvel that after a crazy spending-spree kind of summer there is still money in the bank, and auto-pay is working just fine..

okay back to Jake going to school.. new aide in the class, same aide for Jake, same great teacher....and FOUR new kids.. making a total of 14 kids. Jake is the only one with a 1:1. I walked in and it looks like daycare. The new kids.. not a good match for the classroom. and one of them definitely needs a 1:1 if he is going to stay. I am very sad. If they add another aide Janet might be able to make it work. She is a great teacher and is very calm and has things under control... but if she doesn't? Well, I have seen it before that Jake's 1:1 suddenly becomes a little bit more like 1:2 or 1:1.5 because what is the aide going to do, not help? We fought hard to get him a 1:1 and he really needs it. think this year is critical for his development, and with 14 kids in the classroom I do not think he will a)feel comfortable and b)get the attention he needs. He is capable of academics, and if the class shifts more towards life skills (which he also needs, don;t get me wrong, I know my kid is delayed.. not in denial no need to "sit me down").. anywhoo if it is shifted to an all life-skills class I will be very disappointed. I am going to talk with the principal tomorrow and ask about getting the classroom another aide. The class list on the wall outside of the office lists 10 kids.. so they dropped those four new kids on Monday morning. Kudos to Jake's teacher for being able to figure out on the spot how to organize them into work groups for the activity centers.
okay must make dinner for starving Hawaii time children... just put them in the hose in the back yard. this 90+ degree weather is killing me.

Same. Same

 

Just like the Grand Wailea..'zactly like it.

All Done Airplane

I am going to write out of order, since I cannot get my vacation notes online right now...

so we are home. great trip, hard trip.

Great trip:

• family
• water slides
• gigantic drink glasses
  
• diver scallops
• sister's engagement
• one-in-a-million nanny
• Sage left barbecue in my fridge (meat is currently being devoured by my husband).
  

Hard trip:

• water slides
• panic attacks
• screeching Lucy
• apparently must take plane flight both to get there and come home
• poop
• no mai-tai or lei greeting upon arrival back in Bay Area
  
• Housekeeper could not get into house while we were gone due to diligent door locking by house sitter.
  

On Island Time

SO apparently I am not as technically talented as I previously thought myself. It has taken me nearly a week to figure out that the reason I could not log the computer on in my room was due to the fact that I needed to let the hotel pick an IP address for me.. oh well. it is probably better this way, as now that I am online I realize that the connection is so very very slow. Perhaps it is the only thing that isn't grand about the Grand Wailea. I have stored a few thoughts, so I'll just post as I get the time...

We arrived last Tuesday. Hours ahead of the rest of our family, which is good since our children were done being close to other people or nice to anyone. We figured out that we are not going to Europe any time soon with these children at these ages.. and certainly not Australia, and probably not even the East Coast. I am not looking forward to the flight home... there is no vacation waiting at the end of that flight.

Now having said that I must also say that I am so proud of my children...especially Jake. He was such a good boy on the flights.. yes flights.. we had a layover and plane change in Honolulu. He was very cuddly and nice for nearly the entire flight from SFO to HON. In fact the only real problem he had was that he had to poop twice. Not sure if y'all know this, but airplane bathrooms are very very very very small. And my son is craptastic..and not potty trained. After Leelo's great potty training adventures I am inspired, and will be working hard for this when we get back, but alas we were stuck with one poopy boy and one small bathroom. He waited as long as he could. We had talked a lot that morning about trying to poop before we get on the plane etc. Then when he needed to go, he started to get the sillies and climb all over Descartes. He knows when he needs to go, just gets stage fright or something when he is there... anywhoooo all of the worst things happened, poop all over the place, Lucy only wanted Mommy, and Daddy can barely fit in an airplane bathroom by himself let alone with a 4 foot something 6.5 year old.. all this and Mommy forgot to take her crazy pill. We survived. Once you let go of the idea that children should not sit on the floor of an airplane bathroom you can pretty much get through most things.
So other than the toilet thing... Jake did very very well. Just played in his seat next to Daddy and ate every single possible snack we handed him. It was like a 5 hour snack session. The food on the plane was gross. So gross that Lucy actually took the turkey out of her mouth and very gently handed it back to me and said "No. No".. and my kids will eat just about anything.

We later learned that getting up at 4:30am CA time, after a poor night's sleep, travelling all day with small crazy children, skipping lunch, then adding heat and alcohol, well, it can make Mommy and Daddy a little bit wobbly.
We made it though.. all the way the Kahaluhi Airport Maui...got our rental car and landed safely at the Grand Wailea. Our room was ready early. And whoever thinks this room has no ocean view... they are crazy. That is Molokini and Kahoʻolawe in the distance. Our room is perfect with a door that opens to my brother Gerard's room so Pinky and I can share hairspray (ha ha) and little Bubsy and Lucy can play with all of the toys those good parents brought for their daughter.

Back to School!

A link to an article about getting Special needs kids ready to go back to school.

Who do you THINK has your Vote?

My lovely husband just told me about a very very cool site where, by entering your feelings on various subjects, you can get an idea of which presidential candidates fall in line with your way of thinking. It is flawed of course because you can say that something is important or key to your personal platform, but you can't say that one subject is 10X as important as another issue. You also can't say things like "I want a candidate who has some sense of International policy", or "I want a candidate who is not-Mormon". (This is my own, very large bias.)

So go ahead Choose Your Candidate then let me know how close it is to who you thought it would be. I wasn't surprised that Mitt Romney and I are pretty far apart..pretty much if embryonic stem-cell research is important to you then most of the Republicans are out...except for John McCain. I have always sort of liked McCain, maybe it's because he goes on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, or because he is one of the few Republicans running who is against warrantless wiretapping, torture and Guantanamo. Giuliani and I don't have a chance together according to this little decision matrix. And Tancredo, well he, (she?) and I apparently couldn't be farther apart. And since I didn't who it he was until I just Googled him..guessing he wasn't going to get my vote any whooo.

Back to that website...when I went through quickly, without weighting, it appears that my personal platform is near the purported platform of Kucinich, Obama and Edwards. Then Clinton and Gravel...Gavel? who the hell is that? So Descartes says to me "Kucinich huh? Could you pick a candidate with a slimmer chance of winning? I think not."

Hey. I'm not voting here, I was just playing a little game...

The whole thing is a bit sad honestly. I really am at a loss this time around. Good thing I have over a year of listening to political blah blah-ing to make up my mind.

On a Roll

we are having good days lately..must be something to do with me feeling sucessful with work, and with trying new things with my kids also Descartes is more relaxed lately...he's starting to think about relaxing in Hawaii.

So on Friday after trying the new tether with Jake and successfully shopping with both kids (as I have heard this may just be a miracle with two typical kids... so I felt extra good about it) I was able to meet my friend Sage for lunch. I had called her earlier in the morning and when she phoned back I found out that she had only one of her kids, but two kids of another friend of ours. So the whole gaggle of us met at Johnny Rockets. I am not about to say that it is the best food in the world, but Jake and I used to go there every single Wednesday (early day at his old school) and eat lunch together. The staff learned enough about us to bring me an iced tea without asking, and vie to wait on us since I always leave a big tip (it goes along with the messy table). When we walked in this time, my waitress said "Oh she is so big (about Lucy) She just turned one, how was her birthday?" How cute is that?

SO anywhooo we were able to take over the back booth and Sage and I proceeded to order copious amounts of french fries, and were able to speak a few words to each other between getting kids to be okay (and they were all SOOOOOO good)..then even better.. Got to see another friend who was there at the restaurant. random

and so very nice, because our dear other friend is in chemo right now. breast cancer... nasty stuff that chemo, makes you lose your hair and all, but let me tell you (as I told her).. she looked damn near radiant with smooth skin and her same clear happy eyes and her sweet laugh, and her joy... she is the kind of woman who is joyous. It is almost palpable. I'm not sure if it is faith, or a strong marriage, or a strength born of many trials, but whatever it is, she is one of those "good eggs" and someone I love being around..plus she thinks I'm funny...and she gets all of my wise-cracks.

We left Johny Rockets and made our way over to one of the other Mama's house (the one who owned two of the kids Sage had with her) and proceeded to play.. and eat Otter Pops, and talk and wow, my kids did great and the other kids were precious.. and I can do this.

I am just so lucky to know these great women, who get me and love my kids. It has taken awhile but there is some sort of somethin' somethin' going on for me, some good combination of things.
I think Descartes and I have some great plans for our Jake this year
good times...good times