A Nearly Daily "Back" Regimen

I open the kitchen cupboard and fiddle with all of the little bottles, then take:

2 Naproxen for my aching back.
2 super vitamins to get my mom off my back.
1 Wellbutrin XL so as not to get all over someone else's back.
1 "Stay Awake" (generic No-Doz) to keep from lying down on my back.


I swig this down with a sip of water with a Coffee back.

Get Me A Gun

If one more f*cking person asks me what I think of Jenny McCarthy I am going to kill someone, possibly myself.

Okay that is extreme.

I am still growing and learning, as we all are, and I believe each family has their own journey.... as long as your journey doesn't hurt me (or your child), you can travel whatever road you want, and I will do my best to support you. So here is kind of what I think about a few things.. and I am so fired up right now listening to Larry King Live that I may throw up.

• I believe that Jenny McCarthy saying her son has been "cured" is lame. I think we learn to live with autism, you provide your child with every opportunity to engage in the world and offer as many different ways to communicate as possible so the child can be heard. But fine, her kid is healed, or cured..not going to happen for every child with autism...not going to happen...so re-frame it Jenny...like "here is my personal story of hope that will probably not work for you, but buy my book and you can buy a piece of that hope." [To be fair, she does appear to have some sense that not all children will respond as her child did.]
  
• I do not believe that vaccines cause autism. Jake didn't have thimerosal in his vaccines, most of the kids born after 2000 didn't either, so all of the new diagnosis? Maybe vaccines trigger autism in kids with a genetic predisposition? Maybe. We do know that measles, mumps and rubella can kill children, as can polio.
  
• I do not think that every child with autism benefits from a Gluten Free Casein Free diet (GFCF). I do think that some children may benefit from diet change. Almost any child on the planet eating a healthy, preservative-free diet, carefully monitored by an adult who ensures that all dietary needs are being met.. most kids are going to be more focused, healthier and have better bowel movements. Paying attention to your child's diet is a good idea. Being righteous because you can bake bread with rice flour is not cool.
  
• I think that actors/porno stars/whatever/entertainers are not scientists, doctors, or researchers...anecdotal evidence does not mean a cure. Ugh. I also do not believe that doctors are Gods or always right.. so there.
  
• I do think that people correlate all sorts of things (good and bad) that should not be correlated : In the U.S. most people in car accidents have had french fries within two weeks of the accident. French fries cause car accidents. Also most people who win the California Lottery have been in a liquor store within one week of winning the lottery, possibly purchasing alcohol. Drinking can therefore help you win the lottery.
• My child is never going to have Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy...unless he has the bends.
• Any doctor Board Certified, DAN! TACA, Holistic, or working unlawfully and without credentials who tells you that they can cure autism, and all allergies, and ADD, and ADHD, and bad breath, and sleep disorders and corns and eczema with their wonder pill/magic formula is full of crap. However, if you want to take your kid to someone who believes that they can cure your child...go for it... unless you are harming your child, I support you in your effort.
• NAET® is crap crap crap "NAET clears an allergy by rebalancing your body's energy when you are in contact with the energy of the offending substance." and my favorite "If you are unable to be tested yourself because you are a child, pregnant, disabled, or too weak, you will be tested through a surrogate. " Allergy testing by proxy? CRAP CRAP CRAP.
  

okay I am tired.. I think a lot of other things too.

I do know that I have lost relationship with a person who is very, very important to me because we did not try NAET. She thought that I was not doing every single thing possible to "cure my child."

I wasn't willing to throw money away holding vials of wheat flour and water in my hand while a chiropractor gave me some acupressure...maybe that does make me a bad mother.

I already knew that.

Jake's Birthday

Isn't he a beautiful boy? I know he isn't smiling in this picture, but he is looking at the camera. He was so relaxed during the whole party. He just took it all in. Relaxed is good. No panic attacks, no dropping to the ground in anger or frustration. He sat nicely next to his Papa, drank his milkshake(s) and I think, had a very nice time. I was able to make a Celebration Chocolate Cake and have it taste fine in spite of its not wanting to rise very well. We have amazing friends with hilarious kids. I think it went off well. Everyone got fed and most people were able to escape with their kids **just** before they melted down.
__________________

It has been a hard month for me. September is always very hard. We normally vacation at the end of August, so we are generally unprepared for the first days of school, and all of the anticipation of "the perfect trip to Hawaii" or wherever is now replaced with the more solid memory of how difficult it is to travel with our children. Then there are new shoes, and a new bus schedule (and a new driver), the weather is funky, some days cool, the next day 90 degrees, and I am always wearing sandals in the rain and knee-high boots in the heat.

September brings the feeling that I have once again left so many projects undone from the summer, that I have failed my kids because I didn't do more...museum hopping, pool play, picnicking, beach sand sifting or camping.

And then Jake's birthday is upon me, and I have no plans. No plans because my son doesn't remind me three times daily for a month that his birthday is coming, as so many other children his age will do. So his day sneaks up on me and then it is here, and I am smacked in the face with the fact that seven years have gone by. SEVEN years and this is where we are. And believe me, we are in a great, great place filled with new development and better eye contact, and wonderful things. But I apparently continue to think, somewhere in my mind, that Jake will be growing out of his --Autism, CP, ADHD, panic disorder-- any day now. So there I am on September 24th, a week before his birthday trying to shove all of my expectations back into the bag and tie it up again, more tightly than before, because it is so unfair to Jake, and to me.

So I tried very hard this year, though it was still last minute, to do something for Jake, and I did figure out that it is better to do something small and manageable, knowing that Jake might enjoy himself. Much better idea than spending a gazillion dollars on something where we may not have success. We got the little banquet room attached to his favorite burger and fry joint and invited some of the people we care so much about...some of the people who seem to care so much about us.

It was fantastic, and noisy, and filled with french fries and milkshakes. And I have now baked the cupcakes for Jake's party at school tomorrow. And tonight I will turn the calendar so that a fresh October page shines upon our wall.

Happy Birthday Tiny Man.

Grinding Away

Jake actually went to school part of the day today...

oh and just a note to anyone who ever goes on vacation... do NOT open the mail the minute you get home, because at 11 pm there is absolutely nothing you can do about the erroneous letter that states your disabled and institutionally-deemed child has been dropped from Medi-Cal, and the charge that someone fraudulently made on your MasterCard in Australia buying flowers, which you had already had reversed, has been put back onto your card because they do not have all of the proper paperwork. You can however pay your bills online if you must....or , like I did, you can marvel that after a crazy spending-spree kind of summer there is still money in the bank, and auto-pay is working just fine..

okay back to Jake going to school.. new aide in the class, same aide for Jake, same great teacher....and FOUR new kids.. making a total of 14 kids. Jake is the only one with a 1:1. I walked in and it looks like daycare. The new kids.. not a good match for the classroom. and one of them definitely needs a 1:1 if he is going to stay. I am very sad. If they add another aide Janet might be able to make it work. She is a great teacher and is very calm and has things under control... but if she doesn't? Well, I have seen it before that Jake's 1:1 suddenly becomes a little bit more like 1:2 or 1:1.5 because what is the aide going to do, not help? We fought hard to get him a 1:1 and he really needs it. think this year is critical for his development, and with 14 kids in the classroom I do not think he will a)feel comfortable and b)get the attention he needs. He is capable of academics, and if the class shifts more towards life skills (which he also needs, don;t get me wrong, I know my kid is delayed.. not in denial no need to "sit me down").. anywhoo if it is shifted to an all life-skills class I will be very disappointed. I am going to talk with the principal tomorrow and ask about getting the classroom another aide. The class list on the wall outside of the office lists 10 kids.. so they dropped those four new kids on Monday morning. Kudos to Jake's teacher for being able to figure out on the spot how to organize them into work groups for the activity centers.
okay must make dinner for starving Hawaii time children... just put them in the hose in the back yard. this 90+ degree weather is killing me.