Things I Learned This Summer

It's been a great summer. We didn't cross the country, but we did some fun things, and our kids are happy. It's also been a hard summer for me. I worked more, and had less childcare, and no or less school for the kids. I had several trips that I went on solo, which were each amazing, but also required monumental amounts of childcare coordination and scheduling.

Here's what I learned on my summer vacation:

• All camps should have drive-through drop-off and pick-up. Letting the baby sleep, keeping the special needs kid buckled-in safely, or the dog comfortably stay in the car is so wonderful. I am ever-thankful to the camps that made things easier for parents this summer. It specifically made my life less complicated.
• We need to figure out a way for there to be childcare for special needs children. Really. What happens to all of those aids when school lets out? What happens to those aids after 1pm every afternoon. Finding childcare for a special needs kid is always hard, somehow during the summer it is a lot harder. Maybe we could private pay our schools to have after school care like every other typical kid has? Where is the after-school care for special needs children?
• Camp for my son is one of the most awesome experiences we have as a family. He gets time in the woods with people who focus on him. We know he's safe so we can relax and leave the doors unlocked for a few days. If you have a camp in your area that offers care for special needs kids.. make a donation to them today. They are life savers for the parents, and the learning the children and adults do at those camps is life-changing. 
• Air conditioning is not a luxury for our family. If things get "more than regular" difficult and I am hot, I cannot function. The first things I do is turn on the air conditioning when I am going to need to deal with something hard in our house or car.
• My children love the outdoors. I've always known this, but it is amazing how happy they are when we are in a National or State park. It's like they might actually be 'getting' the lessons we are teaching them about the beauty of this country, and the amazing natural resources we have right here in our own state that no one else in the world has. 
• From our house, it's possible to drive to Yosemite for dinner, and we will be doing that at least once every summer. It is ridiculous not to. If you live that close to a National Park, please go, or send a donation in to keep it well-staffed and full of rangers who answer every single question my daughter can squeeze in.
  
• It's also possible to get to Muir Woods before lunch; even with a gaggle of children. We will be doing this more often as well. A lot of it is wheelchair accessible.
  
• I get teary-eyed every time I'm in a National Park. I am just that sappy.
• In-n-Out Burger can provide the right nutrition and fun for my family, and as long as we don't do it all the time, it is not only okay, it is a happy, inexpensive treat that makes everyone relaxed. And if you go to In-n-Out  and then stop by my house, assume one of my children will steal your milkshake. They don't care if you have a cold.
  
• I need to put in automatic sprinklers in the front yard. I cannot actually water that many square feet every single day by hand. It looks like my front yard is a chapter out of The Grapes of Wrath, and the crops from our garden this summer are about as good as a 1937 Texas panhandle farm. 
• My son has a lot to say if we are willing to wait patiently for him to answer the questions we ask him. Once again, he is teaching me that I have a lot to learn about listening and not assuming.
• Home-brewed beer is awesome, not that hard to make, and something my husband and I can do together that does not involve leaving the house or watching television.
  
• I miss my family when I don't see them, and even though I make them crazy, I think they might miss me too. As much as I love living in the Bay Area, it has been a summer with no visits to my family in the O.C. 
• Buying school supplies for my
• kindergartner was unexpectedly one of the most exciting and heartbreaking things I've done lately; there are no more babies in my house. 
• Always buy more sunblock than you think you will need. Now that we have taught children that they must wear sunblock, it is very hard to get them out of the house/car without it.
• I live in such a great, warm, activity-filled city, and we love going to all of the music in the park concerts. We have also discovered another version of a perfect summer Saturday in our town: farmer's market with friends, beer garten with those friends, and more friends, splashing and running around the downtown square fountains, then home for a family nap.
• and, of course, I figured out that my children will get older no matter how hard I hug them. I knew we were all going to grow up someday, I just didn't see it coming for a few more years.

I hope you had a wonderful summer. We had our first day of kindergarten this morning: 

We are Packed

For the first time in the history of our family we were packed nearly 24 hours before our departure time. I think other people live this way all the time. Those are probably the same people who have centerpieces, and welcome mats.

I have decided that I will make a checklist for our weekend Tahoe trips so I can experience more of the peace that comes with being all zipped up this many hours before we leave.

I am still trying to finish my work, but it is looking like I might still have some to do Monday night. The good news is that Honolulu is 3 hours earlier, so I will gain more time to finish. Just occurred to me I should stop writing here and get reading over there.

Next stop The Royal Hawaiian. Maybe I'll post from here:

I'm Pretty Sure We Just published a Book

and Squid and I are currently celebrating the moment by....

me:taking a shower, then going to bed

Squid:folding laundry, packing, then hopefully going to bed


more self-promotion when tomorrow is really here and not just 1:20am

I'm Lovin it

Did you know that McDonald's is a proud sponsor of Sesame Street?
Unlike several of my friends and many of my contemporaries, I do not hate McDonald's. I do not think they are responsible for childhood obesity in this country... most kids don't have jobs or cars, and they sure as hell don't walk anywhere, so if they are getting fat from MickeyD's it is because some one is taking them there and buying it for them. Everything in moderation and all will be well as far as I'm concerned..except crack, never crack.

So Friday night when Descartes was working late I had to go to the pharmacy to get Lucy a little amoxicillin (since she has some random red and tender area on her finger ...) so I fed the kids home made strata, a gift from Squid (thank you thank you!) and various other left-overs, bathed them, got them in jammies and placed them in the Not-so-Mini Van. Happy children, they watched a pre-recorded CD of Sesame Street (which opens with a McDonald's commercial...this is called foreshadowing).

After the pharmacy I decided I wanted ice cream. This doesn't happen to me very often, so I decided to listen to my body and search for drive through ice cream. Not really anything around except for McDonald's. Okay, so I go there, get the kids a vanilla milkshake and a small fry to share and I got a little sundae (which I could only eat four bites of).

I also purchased, for no known reason, two hot apple pies for a dollar. I cannot believe I am writing this. When I got home, those pies stayed in the bag, on the counter, uneaten over night, children went to sleep, Descartes and I discussed business plans and remodeling projects.

fast forward
the next morning, Descartes says "What is in that bag?" and I laugh and pull out one of the little red boxes with the Golden Arches on it. "Oh these are two apple pies for a dollar. I..."

and I am interrupted by little Lucy
who says very loudly with a little finger pointed so directly at the red box.
"..want McConalds!"

Descartes immediately tells me I am so busted. I almost started to cry, out of joy because my daughter can speak and point, and out of sadness and despair because am I seriously raising a junk-food kid?

Then I remembered that McConald's is a proud sponsor of Sesame Street..and she sees that show once a day every single day...and so Descartes gives me that one and agrees that Lucy has really only had McConald's two other times, and only on car trips to Tahoe.

jeesh.

I'm lovin' it.

Ready, Set, Relax

Turned in a part of my project last night very late ...so I got to spend the day playing with my kids..what joy.

Tried a new "tether" on Jake. Basically, actually I was going to write down what exactly I did, but thinking more carefully after writing this entire post. I am going to perfect the design and sell it...basically Jake is attached to me and Jake can have his hand at his side. It is adjustable for Descartes.

Jake was bugged a bit at first, but was much, much more relaxed for the (quick) grocery store run. I talked with him about how it may be uncomfortable, but it was still a lot more comfortable than holding mommy's hand the entire time.

I was so ready for evil looks from people, and you know what? Only three people noticed. Two of those were little twin boys about Jake's age...and frankly I think they started looking at us because Lucy kept saying "Hi buh, Hi Buh" which is "Hi boys". The only other person was a 40 something year old woman who gave me a look like a therapist seeing a good tool would look. Sort of "Oh. Wow. That is a very simple fix to a very complex social, behavioral and developmental issue."

I am so glad I finally sucked it up and tried it. I have been so terrified that I would need to decide which kid to "save"..and I'm sure I will still think some of that, but it is nice to know that I won't need to chase Jake around a Safeway store.

I am going to perfect this design.. after I see that it works a few times. I did need to watch his toes on the cart wheels and his hands on the products on the shelves. .but no mishaps and got all of the things we needed.

The rest of our day got even better with lunch with Sage and old friends and kids playing and Otter Pops etc.. will need to detail to morrow as I am sososososoos sleepy now and my bed is covered with sweaters that I am not taking to Hawaii.

and I think I'm going out of my head

was seriously just going to write that Lucy finally went down for a nice long nap so I could get something done.. and I hear her CRYING... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am so frustrated today... maybe I am just sad because my sister Demanda and husband Jaster just left, and I just feel better when they are around.

hey no crying.. maybe cryBaby is going to give me a ten minute break to focus on work.


*****************2 minutes later *************
the dogs just barked at a phantom and she cried again.. maybe she will go back to sleep.

my head is about to pop off.

Buried in Cotton

Seriously... how do we have so many items of clothing in this house? I am really being buried alive.

The only thing I can think of is that Jake changed sizes three times this last year (at least pant sizes) and Lucy is changing sizes about every three months too.

And I am now smaller than I was when we got married (which just means I was a cow at our wedding!) so I have clothing from size 10-16 plus maternity..oh yeah and I used to work for that giant clothing company that seems to be "falling into a chasm" not a gap (oh how i miss those days of "Oh my gosh you work there? Wow." We were the Google of clothing companies...beware Google!) so I already had a lot of clothing..

And Descartes, well he's the kind of guy who owns his own tux, and fly fishes, and hunts, and bicycles, and gardens, and he has all the gear for each of those parties..not to mention the ones he doesn't do often, but for which he is well-equipped (hey keep your mind out of the gutter!) like tennis, swimming, backpacking, house painting, car repair, rowing, and disco dancing (he has a blue ruffled tux shirt, just in case!)

I have been going through clothes this morning and I am giving Sage many things.. she will have a whole new pile of stuff to go through when she gets home.

Trigger Happy

So I find no shame in saying that I take Wellbutrin. See I said it. Okay, some shame...I need a crutch. My doctor said very nicely.."jennyalice, You are having very, very normal responses to a very extreme situation.. and I don't see the situation changing any time soon".

But what I have noticed lately is that I have been forgetting to take it sometimes, and here's why I think this is...

• I have had consistent childcare, both in number of hours and with the proper nurturing of my children.
• I have been giving away and throwing away things from my house to try to dig our way into a cleaner easier life.
• I have been completing some contract work.. for that same beautiful SF company.. and they appreciate what I can do.. and pay me accordingly.
• I have a "new-ish" group of friends who are very supportive and brave and funny and who appear to like me.

So what I have figured out is that I need a few things to feel human: a little time away from being a mommy, a little control over my environment, a few moments where someone thinks I'm smart, and a couple more when someone thinks I am funny. That's it. On a day when I can also add going to the gym, making dinner for my husband and reading a book.. well that sounds like a life of luxury.

Most days I get a "trigger" which reminds me that a little round white pill will make life a lot smoother...like I look into the unfinished backyard which I began to undo for my kids, but will most likely never finish, or I try not to get kid's poop into the cracks on my hands which are there from washing my hands so much because I change so many diapers.

Some days the "trigger" comes at 4am when Jake is wandering the halls and I am unable to get up to help him because I still have Lucy nursing for what seems like all night long for these 13 months of her life.

Whatever it is, lately I haven't noticed those "little" triggers, the days aren't as tough when I have some of those other things going on. hmmm....

Pointless Things I Do:

• i clean before the housekeeper comes.
• i hire a housekeeper.
• i pray.
• i paint my toenails or even worse.. i pay someone else to do it.
  
• i purchase Zout, Shout and other stain removing liquids in a vain attempt to keep our clothes looking new and vibrant.
• i think that some day we will have more disposable income than we do today.
• i speak French to Lucy..or what I recall to be French which is now more likely Spanglench (Spanish, English and French... Frengspan perhaps?).
• i pick up paint chips and design magazines.
• i write my thoughts down for everyone else to see.
• i tell my mom that we are fine. i tell my in-laws that we are great.
  
• i sort things like this: 'keep', 'toss', donate' and 'sell on eBay' .
• i keep thinking that any day now we are going to "hit our stride" with our careers, our marriage and our kids.
• i plant flower seeds in a garden without functioning sprinklers.
• i have always believed that hard work coupled with all the smarts you can muster will get you pretty close to where you want to go in life.
  
• i have two bundt cake pansand an angel food cake pan, and a commercial chafing dish in my pantry /baking area.. and have no foreseeable occasion to use any of them.
• i blog when I am in distress.
  

What happened to all of the nice people?

I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW.. mostly at myself.. just realized that my wallet was stolen! Actually my entire purse from the friggin mall.. OUT OF THE BOTTOM OF MY KID'S STROLLER CREEPY!

more tomorrow when I am less crazed, have finished my work and completed the 19 calls I need to make ( i have made 11 so far)

A little slice of Heaven

I started a project on Wednesday for an amazing beauty product company... went to the home office in SF..wow. The offices are all soft, sparkling white with crystal and gem lighting and glass everywhere.
It was so quiet. and clean. and sort of like the vision Hollywood gives us of Heaven..only without George Burns.

oh yeah, and I forgot how beautiful (read:coiffed) everyone is in SF.

There was a fashionista wearing a navy blazer with a perfectly fitted stripy blouse with a pair those longish plain-front shorts in white with mile-long legs propped up on nude open-toed high-heeled sandals that had those laces which tied around her ankles. She looked like a young Christie Brinkley... and get this.. she smiled when she walked by and said "hello" even though I was not waiting for her in the lobby.

See Ya Later Lucy

So I have taken on a "little" contract job again. Tomorrow morning I am doing my part to warm the earth by driving around the entire Bay so Descartes' parents can watch Lucy..wait, not only that, but they are going to meet me at BART so I can turn over my no-so-mini-van keys over to them and let them drive my little Lucy up the hill while I venture on over to San Francisco via BART and work for a few hours.

I hope it works. I miss her already.