My Funny Valentines

Valentine's day is filled with chocolates and roses and lots of those horrid balloons and white stuffed bears that only come out in February. We do none of these things. My daughter saw a balloon with a cat on it recently and said, "Let me guess Mom, you double-hate that one."

Descartes brought home some yummy stinky cheese and delicious bread. I usually make him a heart-shaped meatloaf (since I think he fell in love with my meatloaf before he fell in love with me), but this year I opted for Banh Mi one of my new favorite foods because what's not to love about these flavor-filled, flexible sandwiches? A new tradition is born.

We finished Lucy's valentine's cards just before bed last night...I felt guilty that I did not make cake pops, stick lollies to hand-made cards or shape hearts from doilies. She had no sense of this, being perfectly satisfied to give Phineas and Ferb, and Disney Princess cards to her kindergarten friends. Her teacher gave her a Disney princess card, as did half the class. Phew. And she didn't mind that her extra-special card to once certain boy in her class did not get her an extra-special card in return.

I went to Jake's Valentine's day party at Wunderskool. I had great intentions to make a special blah blah blah for each of the children in his class, and something even lovelier for each of the professionals who guarantee my child's health, happiness and safety while encouraging him to learn every day. I decided to show up instead. He saw me as I was walking in the parking lot and headed for the gate to greet me.

I love the look my kids get when they see me across the room, slightly unsure of how long I've been standing there. They grow so fast these days it can take me awhile to find them in their circles of friends and teachers, and they both have darker hair than I imagine they have when they are apart from me. When they see me, there is a smile that spreads across their face, and it fills me up, makes me whole again. Lucy generally calls my name as if she has just greeted a dear friend from college she hasn't seen in years, and Jake will touch my arm with one finger, tracing the space between the radius and ulna.

Jake took my hand and held it later in class while we were waiting for some treats. He took my hand and lifted it to his mouth and kept it there against his lips. Of course I was chatting away with the aides in the class, teasing Jake and his friends, so it took me a moment to register that he was kissing me, kissing my hand. I thanked him for the very nice kiss and he put his arm around me and pulled me in laughing. It's nice to have those moments with him, especially because he is eleven, and there aren't that many more years when he is going to want to hold his mom's hand at all.

Fluffy Pancakes and Other Holiday Miracles

It's a new year. Shiny and bright and filled with promise, like a new school year, or a blank journal, or an empty center console in a family mini-van.

I am already ahead as this year starts. If I accomplish very little else I will feel like I have had success because...

I can make pancakes.

Now this might seem like an easily overcome obstacle for most adults who can read, have even limited physical coordination and access to the necessary ingredients for cooking. This simple task has eluded me for all of my 38 years, but I have now successfully made beautiful, fluffy, properly cooked-through and most importantly, edible, pancakes four out of the last five days (I didn't have a fail one day, I just wasn't in charge of brekkie). I can now make breakfast for the troops swiftly and easily. I fed four kids Sunday morning before 7:30am and it was a breeze. I have now mastered breakfast.

It's amazing how changing even the simplest things in life can make all the difference, to our confidence, or happiness.

On Christmas day we changed the time dinner was served. One hour earlier and Jake was able to enjoy the same, fancy, dressed-up, china, and three different wine glasses and four forks meal that everyone else had. He was able to stay the entire dinner, and finish three rounds of dessert before Descartes took him home. One hour earlier, and we had family dinner, with 14 people and Jake was able to be a part of the whole thing, and we all had a great time. Jake had a great time, because he loves being with his family.

Our holidays were lovely. Changing a few simple things made each visit with each family go smoothly, even successfully. In fact, I can't actually think of any major drama, aside from our "typical" daughter throwing a no-nap induced fit on Christmas Eve, but she's four, and it's been documented, and when she's a mommy we will pull out this photo, and remind her of all of her drama and cuteness.

The trip to Southern California for Christmas was one of the most successful we have had in years. We felt taken care of, accepted, welcomed and for the first time in a long time, I think we could have stayed a few more days. My family is filled with loving, kind people, really. I'm not even writing that just because they read this blog (Hi Mom!) They really are wonderful people, and we have had visits go okay before, but Jake is a different boy now. He's matured so much in the past two years, and it makes travel and visits much easier. He is calmer overall, and if he does get upset, he's able to calm down faster once his needs are met. And of course, we have grown up too. I worry less about what other people think, and more about how to take care of my family. I also focus more on my family, rather than my family of origin. It's hard not to fall back in to family systems when you go home, but I know that if I take care of Descartes, Jake and Lucy first, it will work out for everyone.

It really went so smoothly. My mother had everything ready to go at her house. We had the right milk, snacks and help each morning with breakfast. Our beds were all set up and the kid toys were available. And guess what my mom bought? A bin filled with smooth rocks and little army guys and small (plastic) sea creatures; Jake had his very own sensory box. It was easy for her to get done (with the help of my sister-in-law, Pinky) and the kindest gesture. Such a small thing that Jake loved, and shows just how hard every one is trying to make sure that we get to be a part of things.

Christmas eve we went to my brother's new house. It is in a very cute neighborhood, that reminds me a little bit of Toon Town at Disneyland, but it is a house filled with toys and non-breakable joy. Aside from Jake cracking off the manifold

in my brother's backyard, it was an easy, fun, family dinner.  The backyard was all set, and available for him to play in, for hours. We just moved one piece of furniture to block off some mud, and when it came time for Jake to turn in, he was able to sleep in his little cousin's pretty pink princess room, snuggled into all of those cozy rosy-hued pillows. Keeping doors closed, and breakables off the side of the table where our long-arm Larry walks through the kitchen, I didn't even have to make those requests because they know my kid now. Even the what-we-thought-was-major-but-turned-out-not-to-be-so-bad, plumbing issue was made to be no big deal, and certainly no one was angry with Jake.  We have a running joke in the family to guess who's going to ruin Christmas each year. One year my brother Gerard asked for the receipts to all of his gifts so he could return them and get what he "really wanted." Another year, my youngest brother Albert threw a little fit about how we "don't even know him" because we guessed the wrong size sweater for him, and I sort of tried to top that ruin by being upset that Descartes had not proposed to me (he proposed the next day). My sister fell into the Christmas tree one year, and missed another year entirely. So Jake tried to ruin Christmas this year, but we found the sprinkler shut-off so I'm not sure he can claim the title.

Christmas day with the other part of my family, has been troublesome for us in the past. The mix of Jake with china, glassware, and expectations led to many of us being sad. My parents have valiantly tried so many different ways to accomodate us, and this year was no exception. Their perseverance has paid off; this year it was fantastic. This was the dinner we moved one hour earlier. The other thing they did was to get a private room for our large party, which was perfect. This way the house was not "set-up" and breakable by Jake, and the mess of dinner was taken care of by a very nice waitstaff. The private room gave us some breathing space, and the patio we could access meant that we could take breaks between courses. The little kids got to wiggle and dance and we all laughed and enjoyed the very, very delicious food. It was such a luxury, and I am so grateful.

Our drive back to the SF Peninsula was easy. We left before anyone was too grumpy, packed food in the car, and were able to avoid drive-thru food for the duration. We stopped for dinner before we got home to avoid that horrible let-down of post vacation combined with an empty fridge. Then we washed some clothes and packed the car again and went to Tahoe for the week and New Year.

The gloves are 80's rocker-girl, but they are on!

What a fantastic week we had there! Beautiful snow, perfect accommodations, doting grandparents and little children who got along. I got to sneak out with the girls, and spend time chatting and sipping while gazing out at the icy lake, and later in the week, I went snowshoeing. The guys went ice fishing, and we all played in the snow.
Jake wore a hat and gloves. Jake wore gloves, and a hat! And he kept them on. Whooooooooo Hoooooooo! This is the first year he has ever kept them on. We cheered and laughed and he smiled, and all the little kids congratulated him! Perhaps it was the 20 degrees outside, or the fact that they've been working with hats at Wunderskool, or maybe Jake is growing up, and recognizes that he can tolerate some things for short periods of time. I know he heard us say that he would have to go back inside if he wouldn't wear gloves...and that boy loves to be outdoors. My sister got some great photos, and while he's not smiling in this one, he really did have a great time, which means we all got to have a good time.

We're back at home now, and I have almost finished unpacking. Jake had school on Monday, and Lucy goes back tomorrow. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks filled with little things that have made all the difference: pancakes, room to breathe, gloves.

What a great way to start the year, grateful for these small things. I must remember that nothing in our life is static; there is room to grow and change, and even the smallest of changes can transform our family.

just in case you need a little bit of Happy Change, here's the recipe for those pancakes:

Favorite Mountain House Pancakes
sift together:
1 1/4 cups flour
2 tablespoons of table sugar
2 teaspoons of baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

add to:
1 egg, beaten with 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil and 1 cup of milk

Lead me to the Gate

We're happy around here. Vacation for the kids has begun. Descartes is taking some time off. We'll see family, and snow, and the beach, and most of our Great State as we traipse up and down in our all-wheel-drive van. If you ever buy a Toyota Sienna... pay extra for the AWD. It is so awesome to drive right up and through those chain control check points.

We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. My Tahoe family came down and Descartes' parents came across the bridge, and we had a lovely, lovely day. My sister made most of the food, or maybe she didn't, but since she brought food from Tahoe, beautiful home-made food, and then she helped me here, I think she did most of the work. Descartes' parents were precious with the kids, of course, and they had fun decorating the Turkey Lurkey cake.  This was not a tradition I had growing up, but it is a great way to entertain the kids, especially right before dinner is served when every one is antsy. In our family you frost a chocolate sheet cake (okay Descartes' mother does all of this...) and you let the children coat the entire thing in candy, with the goal that the cake look something like the Turkey it was cut out to be. It's really gross, and awesome, and sickeningly sweet. The tradition we have added with this generation is that I let the kids eat a piece of that cake for breakfast the next day. I love being that kind of bad mom.

There's lots of new lately. Mostly things look the same, and certainly to the untrained eye, to an outsider who doesn't notice the nuances of our life, nothing looks different, but there are some great things happening.

Late afternoon on Thanksgiving day, when it came time for us to say goodbye to Cookie and Papa, Jake was very upset as we shut the kitchen door, and watched them walk away. The little kids wanted to walk the grandparents to the gate, and as I said yes, it occurred to me that Jake probably wanted to go too. So I asked him, and he said, "Uh ye....ah!" So Jake went to the gate. The little guys peeled off to play before they even made it down the back steps, but Jake went to the gate and stood there until he saw his grandparent's car drive away. And as the car passed by the gate he raised his hand, a sort of mix between a salute and a wave. And when they had driven off he turned around and walked down the breezeway and back into the house.

Relationship. Social awareness. Understanding family dynamics.

We're also seeing something else that seems like no big deal to most families... Jake is beginning to lead people to where  he wants to go. He took Descartes' hand and pulled him, gently, towards the door in Tahoe because he so desperately wanted to go outside. He took Squid's daughter Iz's hand and walked her around the entire bounce house party. He took Uncle Jaster's hand and led him to the door (once again.. that boy really likes playing outside!) He took my hand just today and led me to the breakfast counter for a snack.

Communication. Intent. Calm insistence. Proprioceptive awareness.

And he's been snuggling. Really snuggling, on the couch, in the bed, and nuzzling in when we give him a hug. This month we've spent at least two rainy days snuggled on the couches in the living room, watching his favorite show MythBusters, or a movie. It might make us a lazy family, but we are trying to let Jake lead. I watched almost all of The Princess and the Frog with Jake at one end of he couch, and me at the other, or feet snuggling and twisting under the blanket. And just this weekend he took a rest with his head on a pillow between Descartes' and mine, for almost 40 minutes. He had one arm around his dad's arm and his other around my shoulders. We were closer to him, for a longer than we had been in years- years.

Affection. Preference. Increased attention span.

We have seen so many little things that amount to such big long term changes. He has been happy and healthy and present, and it has been wonderful. In this season of thanksgiving, I could not be more grateful.

We head out tomorrow to Southern California. The rain should be plentiful, and the food delicious, and seeing family will be wonderful in spite of the obstacles of changing our routine and leaving all of our comfort zones. If nothing else, our family loves a good road trip. Although there is one other thing Jake has been doing lately...bugging his little sister. Very normal brother-sister teasing: sneaking a single cookie out of her bowl when she walks away, taking her doll in the car, and laughing when she throws a fit, or tapping her arm until she gives in and shares her snack on a road trip!

Spring Break...down

How am I supposed to get anything done if my son is home for two weeks straight and we have no spring break family vacations planned. Do people really take spring breaks? I mean after college?

Spring break was timed near Easter this year (which is the first time Easter has been this early since the 1800s, and won't be this early again for something like 230 more years) but nowhere near Pesach which isn't until April.

I am exhausted just thinking about this week. I am still having a little trouble getting Jake's aide to be timely. I don't know that she realizes that while I can't "write her up", I can look for a new aide. She is good with Jake, but waiting for help to arrive is really not helpful. She has spring break right now too, and I cannot quite understand why someone who needs to earn extra money wouldn't be jumping at the chance to work full-time for a week either. I mean it is not always an easy thing to care for Jake, but when I was younger I jumped at any chance I had to pay off my student loans, buy a round of beer or a new skirt from Gap. Just a different mind-set I suppose. If she can be on time for the next two weeks we will be okay, but I am now trying to figure out if she is the right person to be Jake's aide this summer. I hate looking for the right aide for Jake, for our family...

One summer we had Miss Emily help with Jake. She has a brother with special needs, so she just wasn't afraid of Jake, at all. I bought season passes to Great America, and after going with the two of them a few times I realized that she was perfectly capable of taking him by herself. They even went to the water park (she was a certified lifeguard too). I would love it if Miss Emily could come back, but alas, she is a little smarty pants and has taken her little Valedictorian self off to college, and spends the summer doing things like going to Morocco as an exchange student.

Jake was littler then. And he is only going to get bigger, and bigger. I am going to try to go to the Y after Descartes gets home from work this week. My back is wrenched again. Something down near my sacrum... in fact after a little research just now it looks like it is more like an inflammation of my sacroilic joint . Fanfkngtastic!

Shite I am falling apart. I keep asking my mom, Gloria.."At what age, precisely, did you begin to fall apart?" and she always tells me that we are different people blah blah.. but now I am guessing it was 36 years, 2 months. Descartes says my warranty must have just run out and that's why everything keeps breaking, 'cause isn't that how it always works in our life?

In other news we were in Tahoe for Easter, where Demanda and Jaster made yummy quiche and my sistow made home made cinnamon rolls that she let rise three times. She also made Easter baskets and made sure her little boys had matching outfits and precious white lace up shoes... so pretty much she is amazing. The church was packed this morning too, and there were a lot of new faces, which is always a good thing. Lots of babies and young families.

OH... and at the last minute, our younger brother Albert showed up with his new girlfriend. Three out of the four of us kids ended up together for a weekend... doesn't happen very often. They were both very sweet with all seventeen thousand kids (are there really only four of them?), and they showed us their very cool shoes...Fluevogs... which is apparently what I might have thought about purchasing if I was young and had disposable income. Albert's shoes are very cool, but I can't imagine Descartes ever wearing them.. and I also can't imagine them ever being made in a size 16! Al's girlfriend bought these .

I would buy these for me and these for Descartes just in case the Easter Bunny is still making deliveries this evening.



Christos anesti.

Christmas 2007 Part Three

We stopped at home long enough to repack our bags, make a mess and pick up the dogs. We arrived in Tahoe at 10:30 this morning. Descartes got to work in the car on his new cell phone the Samsung SCH-i760 yeah I got one too... so so sosososososoooooooooooooo cool!

My other parents are here Walter and Momster. The house is crowded but it is beautiful and cozy at my sister's house. It keeps snowing on and off. Everything is set up so Jake and Lucy are comfortable, my dad will keep us all well-fed, and having a mom around to help is always a relief.

I play Santa and hand out all of the silly little things I have found for Demanda, Jaster and the boys. The Backyardigans guitar is a hit. (Descartes and I get it right most of the time... we sent his sister's girls a karaoke machine with High School Musical tracks... oh yeah!)

Lucy loves playing with her cousins and Jake is being very careful not to step on any babies.
Once again.. I am the luckiest person in the whole world.

Christmas 2007 Part Two

What a beautiful morning. The sun is shining the palm trees are actually swaying in front of my hotel room balcony. We are the luckiest people in the entire world.

My daughter likes to eat jelly straight out of the jar...and run around nekkid.

My son could live all day in the shower here. It is 5 feet by 7 feet with a soft-toned but well placed light imbuing the entire shower enclosure in a warm, cozy hue.

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There is nothing open on Christmas day. Not in Newport Beach. We know this. We knew this, and yet somehow we still decided to "go grab lunch" instead of ordering room service again. I'm not sure why I was so price-resistant. I couldn't bear to spend 60 more dollars.. which is kind of silly because a) my parents are treating us and b) that's just about what lunch for four costs no matter where you go around here.

We found a Chinese restaurant open on Balboa Island RiceLand. Lucy slept while Jake and Descartes and I ate Chinese food in the car. The we drove to the park near my mom's house to let Jake run around before he would be required not to.

When we got to the park, Lucy was still sleeping so Descartes slept in the car too while Jake and I went over to the play area and scared all of the other parents there. I swear they were afraid their kids would "catch" whatever Jake had. I don't think we get as many stares in Deadwood City. Maybe I am used to my neighbors, or more confident, or Jake is more comfortable in his own zone so he looks more "normal", but these people were a little afraid I think of the gigantic 7 year old who was on the kiddie play structure in a little ball with his head twisted upside down (so he could look 'directly' at everything) making crazy cookoo noises. Don't forget that every once in a while he would hop up, make a big noise and run, hands at half staff flapping just a bit, and the sand from the top of his head flying everywhere. Got to overhear a great conversation about how none of them could live without their nannies and television to occupy their children. I am so looking forward to finding new help for Jake in the new year.

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My mom and dad's house looked beautiful, as it always does. It would be a beautiful house without anything in it, but they have exquisite taste and they both love Christmas so there are little Christmasy things everywhere and a gorgeous tree and bless them, a tent outside where the china and glassware gets set up and the door closed so the kids can still play in the family room.
Descartes and I had already discussed asking my parents if Jake could open his presents before everyone else got there, and they were happy to accommodate. It was great. Lovely new flannel sheets, and a million other things, and the best present... from my step sister Sarsaparilla and James... three wind-up tops that you place on the ground, smack with your hand then they spin and light up with great colors. We all thought they were cool, and of course Jake loved them. She is always so thoughtful. You can tell she really searched for something age appropriate that he would enjoy. It is such a great feeling when people embrace your kids.

Dinner was fantastic, Gerard made smoked tri-tip, we had a ham and scalloped potatoes and and sundry yums, and, of course, my favorite beverage--champagne. Jake went to sleep in the back bedroom, Lucy was precious and did NOT have the first melt-down of the evening... an all-around success for our little family.

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Late tonight I got to thinking about Bubsy putting out carrots for reindeer and milk and cookies for Santa last night. It was so precious and so painful to watch. Of course we have never had a kid who asked to do those things, and we never offered... we never offered. Wow. That alone was enough to bring me to tears tonight, but let's add the fact that we have never spent a Christmas in our own house. Every Christmas of Jake's life we have been in Southern California. I am a firm believer that it should never matter where you are, but who you are with on any given day. My home is where Descartes and my kids are...but we never had a kid say "How will Santa find me?" or "Can't we sleep at our house for Christmas?"I think we may be at our own home next year. We can go to SoCal the weekend before Christmas and have that time with my family... or who knows, by this time next year I will have forgotten my tears on the balcony and just have memories of this beautiful view.

Christmas 2007 Part One Day Three

• Christmas EveDinner at Gerard and Pinky's house.
• Pizzas on the grill YUM.
• Lota and lots of prezzies for the kids.
• Jake goes to bed before we get a chance to really open presents.
• Descartes and I are sad because Jake can't handle any more social time, but he is also not really asleep. So basically it feels like we have locked him in a room.
• Lucy and Bubsy open their Christmas presents while wearing Disney Princess costumes. Bubsy is Sleeping Beauty, Lucy is Tinkerbell. At some point they convince an adult to open a box of 12 different princess shoes. Girls go clacking through the hallways on the Terrazzo floors.
• My brother Gerard spends most of the evening in the garage working on a car.. a Barbie Pink Esclade for Bubsy.. one of those electric things.
  

Update

seriously we are staying at the Balboa Bay Club...there is a party in the suite above ours right now...and can I just say... I am pretty sure they think it is 1990 and they are partying "like it's 1999." They are spitting chew tobacco over the rail where it lands on the deck which extends beyond my rail...and I just heard conversation between two guys about who could swim across the channel faster...and could they make it into the swimming pool if they jumped...I hope they don't try 'cause they SO won't make it...

image from www.welcometosocal.com

Christmas 2007 Part One Day Two

The Happiest Place on Earth? I'm not so sure about that, but I do know that Jake and Lucy smiled and loved just about every moment from 8am to 3pm. Seven hours of eating and waiting and walking and the Nemo Ride, Jungle Cruise, Pirates of the Caribbean, a roller coaster for Jake and some It's a Bugs Life worm thing. So the price per hour or per ride is really very high (like fifty to seventy bucks), my kids really had a good time. Lucy and Bubsy are a riot together, copying each other, sharing. Gerard and Pinky are raising a very sweet girl. It's such an odd thing to watch my brother be a parent. Especially to watch how similar our tolerances are, and where we each respond. Apparently neither of us have any patience for whining.
We tried to go to dinner at Sabatino's with the whole family. Ha! We just did too much today and we were all too hungry to have it be successful. Uhm. yeah we arrived first, wheeled Jake in and he promptly pulled the tablecloth half way off of the table, bringing four place settings crashing to the ground and the lovely candle hurtling, flame burning brightly towards his lap. I saved candle, and none of the plates broke so just cleared our half of the table, folded the tablecloth in half and reset the table keeping everything out of Jake's gargantua-reach. Gerard and Pinky were so helpful that nearly had it together before my parents arrived.
Have to go watch Elmo's Christmas Countdown with my family...all snuggled into one big 700+ threadcount bed.

Christmas part one 2007

We're here. nine hours, or nearly nine hours after we departed we were parked in the parking lot of the Balboa Bay Club. Now we are settled into a glorius sweet...I mean suite courtesy of my parents. Our children were amazing on the trip down.
They watched Muppets Take Manhattan, Alladin, and, the clear winner...Charlotte's Web. I sort of thought Lucy would enjoy a talking pig who is friends with a spider.
Tomorrow is Disneyland. We're going with my brother and his daughter Bubsy. It will be exhausting, but it is one of those places where Jake is still kooky but he goes unnoticed, and more importantly-he is so happy.
By the way my happy boy is currently running around the hotel room NOT sleeping .Lucy is talking with a dolly,trying to make the doll go "night night". Let's hope they go to sleep soon because mommy and daddy are all done.
oh hey...I'm using my new cell phone to make this entry. My Christmas present from Descartes...I think I am sooooo cool now.

Yeah, I Guess I'll Keep 'em

I had the nicest times with my children today.

with Lucy at a birthday party, a woman actually said to me "I want a daughter just like yours." I'm not sure there is a compliment that could be better than that..

Then this afternoon we, as a family, went to dinner, and Jake was such a good kid, and ate everything I gave him...then was the most precious child at Home Depot, where we decided to get our Christmas Tree.

He was SUPER spaz, but there was a chainsaw sound and three hundred people vying for the perfect tree.

We had so much fun, Lucy in Descartes' arms, Jake and I running into the near empty corrals meant for smaller-sized Noble firs.

We took home a tree that had clearly been discarded by another family. We did not wait in the 50 person line to have the end sawn off and the branches gently bagged. We just bought it and threw it on top of the Not-so-mini-van

We now have a tree WITH LIGHTS in our house.

I put on the birds of peace, pairs of them with ribbon tied between their beaks.

I wish hope and mostly peace on this world... and more locally I wish for hope and peace in my family.

great party Squid.

Thankful, In No particular Order

• Can I Sit With You? already has a beautiful review...from someone we don't even know.
• Everyone I know and love is safe and where they should be.
• All of my parents are alive and I got to speak with each of them today.
  
• My daughter figured out how to use a cookie cutter in 18 seconds flat.
• My son, even though he stayed awake until 3:30 am last night.. was so precious and even held my hand after he crawled into bed next to me.
• We had plenty to eat on our table today.. and yesterday too, and probably tomorrow and for the foreseeable future.
  
• I have a lot of family....they all love us, and our crazy kids, and they all want us to be with them on Thanksgiving.
• I have a husband who loves his mom and dad.
• My not-so-mini-van has a television in it. and seat warmers.
• The sunset from the deck of my in-law's home is unbeatable. Three bridges, San Francisco skyline, campanile, Alcatraz and the Golden Gate
• My sister and brother-in-law are flexible and love us even though we bailed on them for Turkey day.
• Sage and family take care of our dogs just about every single time we leave town (which seems to be often).
  
• Elections are coming so we can have some change and a feeling of hope in the country.
• I have amazing friends.
• I have just finished a bottle of champagne.
  

Is THAT what sleep looks like?

I went to bed.. got into my bed and turned off the television at 11:15pm last night. I did not get up until 5:30am. That is the most uninterrupted hours of sleep I have had since before I was pregnant with Lucy ('cause once you are preggers you get up to pee 9 times a night!) Of course I did need to gate Jake into a small area of the house downstairs since he has been wandering until midnight the past couple of days, but once I made sure he was safe and happy, I was actually able to fall asleep while he was still awake.

I have only had one cup of coffee today. No "Stay Awake" pills, no RockSt*r drinks, no RedBull.

and I have managed to make 2 different kinds of quiche and a pumpkin pie, all with home made crusts. I have toasted all of the bread for stuffing (chopped and put on trays in the oven) and made some whole cranberry sauce. I also made some pumpkin custard with the left over pumpkin from the can (I did not bake my own pumpkins this year sorry Martha)

And I did the dishes and I washed three loads of laundry (so far).

AND I made my kids nutritious lunch WHICH THEY ATE!

AND I took a twenty minute nap with my little girl while Jake played in his room.

AND I changed 17 thousand crap ass diapers

AND I wiped those two baby nosed about 800 times.

AND, AND , AND I played with my kids!

and it's only 1:48!

I may still be able to shower and pack before Descartes gets home!

Mr. Incredible

My Mr. Incredible. Jake did a pretty good job tonight. Once he figured out what we were doing he used that happy voice and was practically dragging Descartes around...then he got very tired. He was ready for bed before we left the house.. and we forget the kid has a touch of CP and gets exhausted with that much walking. We cut out from the very very nice group of people we had glommed onto and headed on home, covered in chocolate.

Gremlins

Daddy and Lucy the Gremlin

Lucy Sleeps! Jake Wanders.

So is there a conspiracy? Lucy has slept through the entire night two days in a row (hmmm perhaps the Motrin at bed to go along with all of those teeth coming in is heloing? derrrr)

Jake has been up and either upset about wet pants (reasonable) or threatening to go out the doggy door (so uncool).

Did they get togethero the other day while I was in the shower and decide that Jake was going to take the early shift for awhile? Make sure Mommy never gets a full night sleep.

Good thing they are cute!

Happy Halloween. Not my favorite holiday....I am thankful that I have little ones to take 'round the neighborhood and we will not be on any major roads dealing with any drunk drivers.

Be safe everyone. Tinkerbell, Mr Incredible and I will be spending the day going from park to park I think.

Land of the Free. Home of the Brave.

Call me a sap, but seeing war veterans makes me weepy. WWII veterans, Pearl Harbor survivors. Great men and women have fought and died for this country. And what an amazing country it is that I can really, really dislike the current administration, and know that, thanks to our democracy, that guy must get out in the not-so-soon future. Amazing place that I can write, in a public fashion, that I dislike said administration and know that the only real harassment I might receive will be from family members who live behind the Orange Curtain.

For all of the reasons why this country is crazy (like how we go to another part of town to sit in the sun and watch people drive in cars??? weird.. and so much fun?)I love this life I am able to have, and I am thankful that those founding framer-people got it right with that Declaration.

love this part...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

so tonight I am going to pursue my own version of happiness.
Kids are asleep. In-laws are safely home. Yard is watered to prevent accidental burning by insane unmonitored teenagers who live across the street, and drinks have been poured for me and hubby. We are going to watch a little telly because our DVR has stored upon it: Entourage, Flight of the Conchords and Big Love.

Happy Birthday Ms. U.S.A.

Christmas Parts Two and Three

I do not find it odd at all that I am writing about Christmas in the near middle of February. I have taken down the tree, the lights off the house and the Christmas boxes are back out into the rafters of the garage, but I am still sorting through holiday cards, peering at family and friends and debating whether to throw away those lovely photo cards, or stuff them into a small sack (think babyGap bag) and place them in a box or on a shelf where i will find them in one and two and three years and experience the wonder of whether I should keep them all over again.

So Christmas part two was driving back to Northern California. I suppose I never finished Christmas part one. That was Christmas dinner at my mother's house. My mother and father have a beautiful home which has a view of the ocean. They took advantage of the vista and placed a tent with a heater in the back yard, set up a long table, put out the finest china and wheeled out the high chair and booster seats for the babies. It is not very often that we are all in one place. This year we had all four kids and spouses and their kids.

We are an odd lot, filled with insecurities and joys and pride and eagerness and needs and hopes. I know each family has their own shape but I am not sure this family even knows what it is supposed to look like sometimes. It took so long for the "blended" part to blend.. we are still working on it. When my parents remarried and I realized I was going to have three step sisters and one step brother in addition to the one brother I came with.. I just decided that this is what my family looks like, what it will look like for a long time so I had better get used to it. I called the girls my sister when I introduced them ( and when I put their names on Gap family Day invitations) and the brother, well he was a brother. I introduced my new step parents as my "mom" or "dad". This was most painful to everyone else at first. My older step-sisters probably didn't really want me around at all at first, and it has only been in the last 5 years or so that I feel like there is a deeper affection (at least with one of them!) My step-brother (from the other side of my family) and I really love each other, but we don't know each other very well. We are getting to know each other better as we get older, but having never lived in the same house, it is difficult to have shared memories outside of the Christmas when Demanda fell into the Christmas tree and Easter when Maga (his grandmother) wore all black. We are getting there though, and have had quite a bit of fun in small bits and pieces.

So Christmas part one was beautiful and made very relaxing by the fact that my parents had put us up in the fanchy schmancy hotel providing us with a little breathing room with crazy Jake and babyLucy...and giving the precious objects in their home a chance to live another year.

Christmas! Christmas! Christmas! Part One Orange County

Our family has successfully traveled the length and width of the state, nearly, to celebrate Christmas with every family member on the left Coast.

We journeyed to Southern California...a harrowing 10 hour tour complete with rain, a sixth-month old who is teething and wanted to be nursed every twenty minutes for the first 250 miles of the trip, a very patient, and surprisingly flexible autistic big brother who tried throwing toys VERY far out the door of the car at each stop (as if we were going to let him get out and run to fetch them)...and fog on the Grapevine that slowed traffic to about 10 miles an hour between spurts of 70 miles per hour. Very scary that part.

We arrived at The Balboa Bay Club at 5:36. We had dinner reservations in the nice "coat and tie" part of the club at six. Somehow we managed to get Jake an ironed outfit, the Mom into a holiday dress, the dad into a coat and a tie AND pants that fit comfortably, babyLucy nursed and dressed in her Christmas dress...and make it into the restaurant by 6:15. Not bad. I think. We were able to see my neighbors from childhood, even Julie who was making a Left Coast appearance.

Jake didn't make it all the way through dinner. It was a lot of stimulation for those of us without "special needs". He was a trooper though. He finished his dinner, but before even our appetizers could arrive he really needed to go to bed. Descartes graciously said he would retire with Jake (I'm sure the lure of removing his tie helped him make the decision). We sent Descartes' food "to go" to the room. Descartes noted later that Oysters Rockefeller is not a good item to go.

Christmas Ducks

What a strange thing I just told my husband, and my friend Jodelle about this BLOG. I know that it is posted on the World Wide Web, but I don't think anyone else had ever read it...


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My dad just called and wanted to know if I had seen the Christmas Ducks.
I said, "I have never seen any Christmas Ducks".

and he said, "Yes, you have, they come out every year for you. AND I had saved them for you. AND now when we open the box, we can't find the Christmas Ducks."

"Maybe Demanda took them." I say jokingly.

"No, Jennyalice. Demanda did NOT take the Christmas ducks." Demanda is my sister, and was prone to liberating items for her personal use from me as a teenager.

"Maybe Jaster?" Who is my sister's husband, and a pastor, and not prone to stealing things.

"No. Jennyalice, no one stole the Christmas ducks from you. Do you want a Noah's ark? It is filled with animals."

"Is it made of wood?", "Are the animals inside made of wood?" I ask, keenly, oddly, interested

"Yes, they are."

"Yes, please dad. That would be lovely. Wait, where on earth are you?" Is he out shopping? I don't need anyone to BUY me anything. Finding something fine, but buying, spending hard earned cash on me... not okay.

"I'm at home. I bought all of these things for my children. For Christmas, but we don't celebrate any more."

I think how sad this statement is. It is so true, we have such a hard time gathering as a group anymore. Toys stay in their original boxes, never even looked at before being stored in the attic. Perhaps later we'll find them and sell them on eBay for double there original price. He keeps buying things for us, for my son... but things are so distant, we don't even know these treasures exist.

"Demanda will bring you a Noah's ark." You will each have one, but yours will be better."

He says this seriously. I think he believes I really was hurt that my step-sister got his grandmother's old 1940's radio, art deco wicker chair and various sundry items. I guess I was hurt enough to notice, but not by the gesture that she would have the items. Not at all.

She is my sister in ways that blood would never confirm. Sisters by choice is a lot better than sisters by chance. No, I was hurt because I did not have the ability to visit his house and see his treasures... family treasures, family history. Cut off by distance, and time and lack of money and allergies and engine trouble and all sorts of stooopid things I have managed to withdraw from my life in Southern California so completely that I no longer even get the hand-me-down bed Gloria (my mom, the one who carried me) is giving to my little brother (the one by blood, Gerard), or the beautiful wicker rocker Demanda has in her guest room.

I am not more deserving than any of the other kids, more appreciative or even by a longshot, a better kid... it's just, well, I am not even offered the items anymore. This is kind of a weird thing when you are the oldest, and used to being the one who gets to pass on the first showcase. I wonder if I should get a name tag.