With Apologies to Elizabeth Barret Browning

How do I hate the common cold? Let me count the ways.
I hate them to the depth and breadth and height
My arms can reach when wiping noses in the night
For their never-ending and snot all over the place

I hate them that they ruin several days
Most quiet need, all day, then coughing in the night.
I hate how noses run so freely, as I strive to stay upright.
I hate them purely, as school turns us away.

I hate them with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, having nearly lost all faith.
I hate them with a hate and so it seems I lose
All of my patience, --- I hate colds with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but hate them more than death.