19 September, 2007

Actually, Plumbing IS hard.

I have a new dishwasher. I have a new refrigerator. Lucy does not have MRSA on her finger, it is only strep. Jake does not have strep, he only has a sinus infection. I do not have strep. Descartes did not even have a doctor's appointment. My life should be pretty much perfect.

Except Jake had diarrhea at school and I had to pick him up and wait, have I told you about the diarrhea thing? This one really has worked for me. I look at whatever situation is going on in my family.... and I say, "Well, does anyone have diarrhea?" and if that answer is no...then I know right then and there that it is not that bad..because apparently it could be worse because everything is worse with diarrhea don't you think? Now sometimes this does not work because the problem IS diarrhea..but you get my point.

So anywhooo I decided to fix the water at the kitchen sink issue we have had as of late.. for some crazy reason (the last plumber) the cold is hot and the hot is cold. So I went under the sink with a wrench (or seven) and fumbled around trying to fix it and discovered that, indeed I do have arthritis bad enough to not be able to do that.... and also, while I am rather handy, I am also a bit clumsy.

I dropped a giant wrench on the bridge of my nose. Same place where Jake broke it several years ago. I sat up from under the counter (actually without hitting my head on the way out), and sat there and sobbed on my kitchen floor.

"Why God, does everything have to be so hard all the time?"

and then it hit me.

Plumbing is hard. This is why there are plumbers who make good money, and why even very smart people hire them.

but more than that. I think somewhere along the line I think I had started to believe that because on most days, life with Jake is so very hard, that somehow the rest of my life should be easier.

The fact of the matter is:
the rest of the hard things in life might be just as hard for me as they are for other people, I just also have Jake.

and now you are thinking this chick is so dumb.

But really. I think I go around thinking that I know I can't solve Jake, fix him or any such thing; I am trying not to waste any more time on the 'why' of Jake. He is a mystery that I love and am trying to help him be an active part of his world.

...but every other thing on the planet? I should be able to fix those things because they all have answers. Everything else has a rational explanation, so it should be easy for me to fix or do every other challenging thing I encounter. I am smart enough. I have resource enough. I should be able to do it.. and it should be easy for me to do because there is an answer, in a book, on the web, in my head, from a friend...all solvable.

How crazy is that? No wonder I am so irritated with myself all the time.

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