Old Skool

Lucy and I just drove to San Francisco to join my parents (the PJ and Gloria set) for lunch at an Old Skool fish house. Been in business since 1849.. clearly they must have had different waiters in the past, because with the level of customer service we just had they would have been out of business in two months max.

Lucy was precious for quite awhile which is always good so people are more patient when she starts to lose it.

We left lunch a bit before everyone else was done, and a full hour and a half after we had arrived. She was sound asleep in her stroller by the time we were two blocks away.

Valerie is coming to watch the kiddos tonight so Descartes and I can eat a nice dinner with my parents and all of their lovely friends.. I mean that. They really have lovely friends these days. I even forgive them for being scary die-hard USC fans. My Lovely Step Sister Sarsaparilla and her fiancé, James will be there too. They too follow the football games when they can. It is always fun to see them since James is very, very good with my children and they both have so much joy on their faces when they see my kids. Descartes and I also had a rip-roarin' good time with them when we were in Maui. I think we laugh a lot when we are with them.

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Thinking about it, it gives me great comfort to know my momma has someone to go to the movies with. Life is hard ya know? and I would not make it without my girlfriends.

Envy This!

Okay. I did it. I went to a massage parlor.. no not that kind... my back has been buzzing and I had this random memory of a little place called Massage Envy..and a deal for $39 for a massage.. and I just went.

and I feel so much better. When I came out of the room the front office person said "Wow. You look really relaxed. Wow! You really look so relaxed. Wow!"

and I kind of thought she was just trying to get me to make another appointment..but you know what. I got into the car and looked into the rear view mirror, and I was shocked!

I actually looked my age. I looked 35 instead of 45. I felt, and still feel so good. It is shocking how little I need to get myself back on top of everything. I just need not to ache. I just need to rest every now and then.

I made a full dinner tonight. I think that is at least the second time since Monday. It makes me feel like a rockstar to give my family real food.

Jake had an early day today while Lucy was happily and Nanny Kidwell's house, so Jake and I went for ice cream. It was great to spend time with just Jake.. and a happy Jake at that. The little pixie of a girl who served Jake his Oreo Sundae is only 16...and expecting a baby in February.

and I thought my life was hard. jeesh... she seems very happy about the whole thing, but phew I am so glad that, while Jake having autism was not planned... at least we knew he was coming...and Lucy too. I was so busy when I was 16 I just can't imagine

One Flush or Two?

I know this is crazy...but I am so excited about the new toilets we just had installed today. Of course they were free. That is always kind of exciting... doing the "right" thing and being rewarded for it is so rare these days.

My city is giving away free toilets to homeowners on city property, if those homeowners are willing to give up their many-gallon-consuming toilets...up to three per household!
So we have new Caroma toilets with an awesome not one-size-fits-all flush system. With a choice between a lot and a little water per flush (and the "a lot" of water still being way less than previous toilets) we will be saving a bundle on water.. and happily not wasting a precious commodity on poop. I would much rather use my water share on the flowers in my front yard.

We even got an elongated bowl and ADA height

What is the Deal?

Jake had such a hard time yesterday afternoon that his therapist walked us across the playground to go in to therapy..then right back to the car. Jake flailed the entire time. My arms hurt, my knees hurt. I am so saddened by his outbursts.

Is this the all new and improved episode?

Back to School!

Whoooooooooooooo HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!

Jake went to school this morning.

Of course next week.. every day is a minimum day for parent teacher conferences. ugh

And Much Later, after the Jungle party

As it happens sometimes after a public melt down, Descartes and I got into a ridiculous fight much later when we got home from the birthday party yesterday. I think it came from Descartes not realizing that it has been a very, very long week for me, or if he did realize it, he did not appear to be thankful enough. Apparently I wanted him to thank me effusively, possibly give me a raise hahahahah and say out loud many, many, many times what a lucky man he is to have me for a wife and mother to his precious children.

He dropped us off and went to Home Depot to get things for our remodel(s) and while I know he was doing things for our family, and not just for himself, leaving me with both kids again for 2 + hours was just exhausting for me. I think Descartes forgot that I nearly quit my job on Thursday afternoon.

When I used to work in retail I remember several employees that would go on their 10 minutes breaks.. and just...never...come...back...


We need to start having some help on the weekends I think.

Jungle Party

Went to fantastic party for Leelo today at an oh-so-cool place for children to run amok. In our case Jake was not happy when we go there, eventually got okay, then LOST HIS SH*T when we sat down for pizza later. It was really very, very sad for me.

(some of the following is from an email I sent to a friend about the incident)


I don't think anyone at the party had ever seen Jake lose it in such a big way.. and we really should have skipped the whole sit down in a small room part, since he had only just gotten it together in the play area.

Surprisingly, after all these years, I still have embarrassment and resentment when he acts out.. see, even there I think of it as acting-out instead of part of a disability. I always think that since he can get it together he should be able to when I need him to. I actually told him he was "being rude." I guess we have pretty high expectations in some areas for Jake. Somehow it is okay (in my head) if he never does math, but he must be able to sit at the table with friends and family.

Clearly I am still trying to figure this whole "Mothering a Special Needs Child" thing.

We don't do a lot of things because we like to set Jake up for success..

and probably, more than that, we do not like to not feel like we did at the end of the party.

We're Going to the Zoo, zoo, zooo. How 'bout you?

Hurrah! I took both kids to the zoo today. Yeah don't think I am quite so brave. I went with Squid and her girlie munchkins and one of Iz's precious friends. The older girls helped a LOT with Lucy, and Jake was mostly entertained by the ramblings-on of all of us motor-mouths.

Jake went on the carousel without a seat belt, on an uppy-down horse with me only standing next to him. First time a grown up didn't need to help him stay on. He held on with both hands and everything.

We really had a lovely time. Perfect weather. Well-mannered children. Not too crowded. Howler monkey SUPER LOUD, and no one lost any shoes. Stayed a perfect number of hours. Lucy did get mean and grabby with Mali at the end of the day, but she was just tired. They sat next to each other in a stroller all day long with no problem.

We said our good byes then took the Great Highway and Skyline home, watching the waves roll against the amazing California coastline....and I had a diet coke in the car with some ice left in it...perfect!

then we had to go to Comcast...which is sort of like saying we had to visit hell..and that story is so painful to tell right now that I simply cannot

highlights of Comcast visit:

• Jake screaming/whining/crying the entire time in line with 10 people in front of us.
• No one opening or holding the door for me in spite of having a wheelchair-screamy kid and a wriggly little girl in my arms...oh and a DVR. Seriously a guy walked in and let the door shut behind him without even looking. Does anyone have manners? I don't want special treatment, I just want courtesy.
• All three of us crying in the car on the way home.
• Jake being so worn out that he sobbed himself to sleep on the floor of his room when we got home...at 4pm...he is still asleep in the clothes he wore to the zoo...with no dinner, no new diaper.
  

i have opened a bottle of red wine. please do not disturb the momma

Rats!

Jake and I had an all day long date today.

Pizza
Ice Cream
Movies!

will fill in later.. but it was so, so lovely.

of course this was after a HORRIBLE morning with tears and tantrums and non-compliance.


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by the way I have just come back to this post nearly a week later... the reason the title of this post is "Rats!" is because we saw Ratatouille which is something I neglected to write earlier.. uhm der.

In it For the LoOOOOOOOOOng Haul

this is the longest week in the history of all time.

Valerie asked for the day off, she already doesn't work on Wednesdays or Fridays...so that makes Monday and Tuesday that she was here helping with Jake (total of 5 hours). Thank GOD Lucy goes to Nanny Tidwell's house for a bit on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Jake goes back to school on Monday. By 9am this morning I was already done. I hate that feeling. Probably doesn't help that I COULD NOT sleep last night. Too many things on my mind. I was making lists.. this insomnia and mild panic could possibly be explained by....oh wait uhm yeah....

did I tell you the best part? I got a call from the pharmacy during which I was informed that there is no known date for the delivery of more Wellbutrin. The country is out of Wellbutrin? Holy Crap there are going to be a LOT of cranky awful people out there. I tried taking a generic yesterday and it just made me feel crazy. I know it is supposed to be the same but it is worse than not taking anything. It makes me feel like my brain is soupy and my emotions are all twisted up. So luckily I keep a stock pile which should get me through an extra two weeks past when I should have refilled the Rx.

As if being cookooo wasn't hard enough they gotta make my crazy pills scarce too? Yikes!