A is for Apple

Jake ate an apple. Really. All by himself. Not chopped up, not pre-speared on a fork. He ate an apple.  He ate the apple pictured below on the right. 

  

Bite by bite he picked up the apple, took a nibble then set it down on the counter. Then he picked it up again, chose the next bite and took that one too. I started to cry. 

I told him I was really proud of him. Lucy, not really understanding the great accomplishment, but loathe to miss an opportunity to be a part of a good time, ran up and said "Good job. Jake loves apples!" 

Jake has never been able to do this before. Well, if we did let him have his own apple he would eat indiscriminately, core, stem, seeds, whichever. This time I watched him choose the next bite. 

Sorry to be obsessing over this seemingly small task but add it to this little list:

• new skill: Jake can pull the covers over himself as he lies in bed. 
  
• After grabbing the hair of a little girl on the play structure on Thursday (as she raced by him). I said "Jake! LET GO!" and he unclenched his fist, her shiny hair then slid past his palm and it looked more like the hello he was trying for and less like an attack.
• new skill: After being unbuckled, Jake walks off the bus without assistance and grabs my hand at the door.
• Jake tried to tickle his sister tonight after she tickled him. He touched her stomach, instead of a random grab for whatever part he could find. 
• Jake sat and listened to the entire story "The Giving Tree" when I just read it to him tonight.

It has been a pretty rough month...maybe even six weeks. Colds and migraines and general fussiness, and now, once again it feels like we have some small but significant gains in the aftermath. 

I will need to remind myself the next time I am in those dark hours, that this light feels so very good.

Jungle Party

Went to fantastic party for Leelo today at an oh-so-cool place for children to run amok. In our case Jake was not happy when we go there, eventually got okay, then LOST HIS SH*T when we sat down for pizza later. It was really very, very sad for me.

(some of the following is from an email I sent to a friend about the incident)


I don't think anyone at the party had ever seen Jake lose it in such a big way.. and we really should have skipped the whole sit down in a small room part, since he had only just gotten it together in the play area.

Surprisingly, after all these years, I still have embarrassment and resentment when he acts out.. see, even there I think of it as acting-out instead of part of a disability. I always think that since he can get it together he should be able to when I need him to. I actually told him he was "being rude." I guess we have pretty high expectations in some areas for Jake. Somehow it is okay (in my head) if he never does math, but he must be able to sit at the table with friends and family.

Clearly I am still trying to figure this whole "Mothering a Special Needs Child" thing.

We don't do a lot of things because we like to set Jake up for success..

and probably, more than that, we do not like to not feel like we did at the end of the party.