28 September, 2004

I am an evil sister...
this is what my brother Gerard sent to me via email, a touching, lovely soliloquy:

I Wouldn’t Try To Be So Perfect


The following was written years ago by an 85 year old
man who learned he was dying.

If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make
more mistakes next time. I wouldn’t try to be so
perfect. We all have perfection fetishes. What
difference does it make if you let people know you are
imperfect? They can identify with you then. Nobody can
identify with perfection.

I would relax more. I’d limber up. I’d be sillier than
I’ve been on this trip. In fact, I know few things
that I would take so seriously. I’d be crazier. I’d be
less hygienic. I’d take more chances. I’d take more
trips. I’d climb more mountains. I’d swim in more
rivers. I’d watch more sunsets. I’d go more places
I’ve never seen. I’d eat more ice cream and fewer
beans. I’d have more actual problems and fewer
imaginary ones.

You see, I was one of those people who lived sensibly
and sanely hour after hour and day after day. Oh, I’ve
had my moments, and if I had it to do all over again,
I’d have more of those moments. In fact, I’d try to
have nothing but beautiful moments, moment by moment
by moment. In case you didn’t know it, that’s the
stuff life is made of – only moments. Don’t miss the
now. I’ve been one of those people who never went
anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a
gargle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it
all over again, I’d travel lighter next time.

If I had it to do all over again, I’d start barefoot
earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the
fall. I’d ride more merry-go-rounds, I’d watch more
sunrises, and I’d play with more children. If I had to
do it over again… but you see, I don’t…

Then this is what I wrote back to him:

This was written by your sister who has a sneaking suspicion that she is going
to die someday.

If I had to do it over again...
I would have snuck out of the window when I was 16 and gotten so drunk
that I threw up on the front porch.
I would have stayed up to watch the sunset from the back of that
patrol car, and probably not spit on that one burly dude.
I would have shown up for a few of my classes in high school, and
college, and not cheated on the SAT, the ACT and each of the 5 AP
tests I took.
I would have slept around A LOT, and danced like a skanky whore in
Tijuana. Maybe I would have even eaten those fish tacos from the
vendor on the corner when I was there.
I'd lie to my parents about how college was going, Spend my tuition
money on booze and sell my textbooks for admission to underground
dance clubs.
I would take long road trips with girlfriends, flashing truck drivers
and letting the wind blow through my blond hair without wearing a seat
If I had to do it over again, I'd stay up later and get up earlier to
do these kind of things each day

. If I had to do it all over again... I ...WAIT.... I don't have
to.... I did all of this.

(you know I'm kidding right?)
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